CASAVIR DOING THE UNTHINKABLE
by Mystical Ninja Unicorns
Summary: Most hilarious but yet distrubing story ever! A MUST READ! Please Review!


**WARNING: **Small children, elderly, and easily disturbed should not read this!

**Casavir doing the unthinkable O.O**

_On a regular day at the Sunken Flagon…_

"Come on, Casavir! Tell me something about yourself!" Raven begged.

Casavir looked down at her sternly. "No."

Raven gave him her best puppy eyes. "Please…."

"No."

"How bout I tell you something about me and you tell me something about you?" Raven puckered her lip and let it tremble. Casavir sighed.

"Very well, but not too much."

"Yay!" Raven smiled. "Alright, I use to wonder the swamps for days on end when I was younger until finally my foster father Daughen tracked me down and brought me home, telling me that I couldn't stay in the swamps after dark."

Casavir nodded, but no interest shown on his face. "Alright, ask me a question and I shall answer."

"Ok. Do you always scowl?"

Casavir scowls deeply. "I don't _always_ scowl!"

Raven rolled her eyes. "Ok, what was your childhood like."

"Oh. Gods." Raven heard Bishop say behind her. "You're not interested in _ancient _history, are you?"

Raven turned around and hit Bishop upside the head. "He ain't that old!"

"I'd rather not, Raven. It's quite boring." Casavir said, he looked away from her over her sholder, as if something interesting was over there.

"Fine, have you ever done something you regret?" Raven asked.

Casavir's expression turned to pain, causing Raven to have a pang of guilt in her chest.

"I don't mean to pry..." Raven said, her face innocent. "Hey you wanna hear one of my deepest regrets?" He looked up, a small interest in his face.

"Letting Bishop join." Raven said with a sly smile. Bishop opens his mouth to say something but then gets hit upside the head again.

"Raven, I am getting tired of the continues questions..." Casavir said with a sigh.

"Two more... pleeeeeeease..." Raven gives her puppy face once more.

"Fine..." Casavir rolls his eyes and watches as Bishop walks out of the door of the Sunken Flagon.

"Ok, do you dance?" Raven eyes sparkle.

"I do know some dances but I am not as good." Raven nods slowly.

"What do you do for fun?"

"Paladins don't get to have that pleasure."

"You can't be serious." Raven shook her head.

"Well..." Casavir looks up into space. "I do like to stroll the streets of Neverwinter just before dark but light enough for me to see far, I love the glimmer of the cobblestone streets of the sun as it goes down and the light dew that begins to form in the grass, making it look like stars..."

_Three Hours Later_

"...And how when the sun goes down, it gives off a pink color, that makes me think of how life is so short but yet too long and how the good die young, it makes me reflect on what I have done compared to all the great heroes, and feel sad that I have not done enough to make the world a great place to live."

He looks back down to Raven to see her have the blankest face in the world (Yes, blanker than her foster father Daughen) with absolutely no interest on it that a baby would implode if one ever saw the face, and just because of that Nasher banned that face and erased it from history.

"Interesting..." Raven says. "Would you mind having a drink with me?"

Casavir looks down at her and looks lost in thought. "I would rather-"

"Great!" Raven grabs his arm and pulls him over to the counter. She orders two tankers of ale. Casavir looks over to see every one staring at him. Raven smiles at him and hands him a tankered. "Drink up!" Raven chugs the whole thing in less than half a minute. "Your turn."

Casavir raises it to his lips and feels the liquid run across his lips. He slowly at first but then drinks faster until it's finished and places it down.

"Another round!" Raven taps the counter and another runs across the counter. Casavir gulps, and raises the ale to his lips again...

_Later_

Bishop walks into the Sunken Flagon and stops at the sudden shouting. He lets his eyes adjust to the sudden light. He rubs his eyes to make sure he isn't hallucination and looks at the scene again.

Casavir is upon a table in a pink, frilly dress, dancing on it. He was kicking up each leg and holding his dress up. Raven on the other hand was half naked running around the table screaming "wooooooooo!" with a pair of underwear on her head.

_" I'm a pretty paladin with a frilly pink dress_

_frilly pink dress, frilly pink dress_

_I'm a pretty paladin with a frilly pink dress,_

_and I like to dance upon de table of flowers and sunsets"_

Casavir sang as he danced upon the table. Every one cheered him on as he continued to dance. "Wait everyone! I have a brief announcement!" He yelled, having his hands up in the air for silence. The noise slowly died off, every one focused upon him. "I..." Casavir paused for dramatic effect. "Am not wearing underwear! For it is upon this demonically beautiful woman's head and shall stay there until I must place them back upon me!" Everyone began cheering him again and he began to sing

_" I'm a pretty paladin with a frilly pink dress._

_Frilly pink dress, frilly pink dress._

_I'm a pretty paladin with a frilly pink dress,_

_And I am not wearin' me underwear of protection!"_

Bishop doesn't know what happened after that because he then faints like an old woman.

Afterward:

_Bishop and Casavir both woke up with splitting headaches (For completely different reason) cuddling up next to each other and Raven wakes up behind the bar with a bottle in her arms, that was clearly a victim of drunken making-out...ness. To this day no one every speaks of that night, not even Daughen, who was conveniently passing through at the time and only slightly brought it up when he was having a conversation about Raven's choice of friends and her obvious drink-of-the-ale-to-much...ness._

THE END

PLEASE REVIEW (I WANNA HEAR HOW MUCH YOU WET YOURSELF OVER THIS STORY)


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